the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
