using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
