just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize