i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
