I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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