weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He told me they were just razor bumps!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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