Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
