every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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