Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
