I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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