Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
