That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She told me I should be a condom model.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
