No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
