Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
