After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
