people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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