none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
