I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You took a bar mat shot.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
