The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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