so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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