My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize