The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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