You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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