Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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