She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
