So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
