just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
