Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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