dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize