I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
