Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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