I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
