no. you can't hotbox the world.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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