grandma shit on top of the toilet
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
