So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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