I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I AM VODKA MAN
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize