What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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