Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize