Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
