Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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