I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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