would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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