I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
