Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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