You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Slut skills are useful in every country.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
