...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You are the jesus of drinking
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
