thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
