I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
