so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
