If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
