There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
