But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
