I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
