absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
