absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
