When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize