I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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