she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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