Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
