get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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