And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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