I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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