so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
