when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
