I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
