The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
