I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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